Wednesday, March 14, 2007

To Have A Narrow Escape Draft 1

On yesterday afternoon, there were some little boys playing in the park. A boy whose name was Tom, he climbed up a tree for fun. Everything was fine. Suddenly, Tom fell from the tree, and he fell into the jar which was filled with water. Tom was too short to escape from the jar. My god! He was almost drowned! Other children were frighten, they yell "Help! Help! somebody help us!". Fortunately, there were two boys heard their call. They shift a big stone, and threw it to break the jar. As they threw, the jar was broken, and the water was flowed out of the jar at the same time. Finally, Tom was saved by the two valiant boys. This story tell us : we should notice that whether the place we play is secure or not.

7 Comments:

At 7:53 PM, Blogger Jenny said...

"On yesterday afternoon," "On" should be deleted.

 
At 8:00 PM, Blogger Dora said...

"somebody help us!"
"somebody" should write "Somebody".

"They shift a big stone"
"shift" should write "shifted".

"This story tell us "
"tell" should add a "s" behind it.

 
At 8:01 PM, Blogger  said...

You're "To have a narrow escape" is great.Perfect!

 
At 8:03 PM, Blogger Phoebe Lee said...

I can only say that Tom is so lucky!

 
At 8:05 PM, Blogger 美萱 said...

They used their resource to save the boy before making a big mistake.
But we still have to be careful whenever we are playing

 
At 8:20 PM, Blogger 娜娜 said...

So we should be carefull when we play.

 
At 8:44 PM, Blogger Amanda said...

When we went out to play, we should be careful.

 

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