Autobiography Part1 - Draft1
My name is Weng-Fung Wang. I was born in Tainan. I am sixteen years old. There are five people in my family. My father is a erudite man, he always teaches us many practical knowledge, which tell us what to do or what should not do. My mother is such a gentle woman, she tell us that we should get along well with people, do friendly by people. My brother is a college student, he is always a helping hand in my homework. My sister is a senior high school student, I usually has an intimate talk with her. I am so lucky that I was grew up in this wonderful family.
I like to play basketball, volleyball, and badminton. I used to be a member of the basketball team in junior high. Now I am a member of the volleyball team in my class. We always win the first plase in interclass volleyball game. I think that's because everyone make concerted efforts. I also enjoy some quite activities. Such as listening to muice, reading, and so on. These kind of activities helps me to relax.

7 Comments:
*I am so lucky that I was grew up in this wonderful family.* should change to * I am so lucky, I was grew up in this wonderful family.*
Because *so ~that* 有因果關係的意思, in here you use it let me think it's a little strange.
"I am so lucky that I was grew up in this wonderful family."
應該用"that I grow up in......"
"I was grew up in this...."變成被動了
"My father is a erudite man," "a" should change into "an".
"she tell us that we should get along well with people," "tell" should add "s".
"I am so lucky that I was grew up in this wonderful family.
" "grew" should change into "grown".
"I also enjoy some quite activities. Such as listening to muice, reading, and so on." I think "I also enjoy some quite activities,such as listening to music, reading, and so on." is better.
We always win the first plase in interclass volleyball game. What's the meaning of "plase"?
listening to "muice" should change to "music".
These "kind" of activities helps me to relax. "kind" should add a "s".
"he is always a helping hand in my homework." change into "he always gives a hand in my homework."
which "tell" us what to do or what should not do. tell should add "s"
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