A Dream I Had Draft- 1
Every one in the world must has dreams. One day, I dreamed something terrible. In the dream, I was walking at the street alone at midnight. Suddenly, I heard someone walking behind me, I turned back immediately, but didn't see anything in the dark. It is spooky that I still could heard the footstep. As I walked faster, the footstep became faster as well. I was so frighten that I started running. After a while, I turned back, I saw a gruesome monster in frond of me, then I fell into a endless hole, and then I woke up in a cold sweat about this scary dream. It was the most terrible dream I have never had!
posted by Fanny @ 2:58 PM
5 comments
5 Comments:
It seems that there is no big mistake.
"Every one in the world must has dreams." "has" should change to "have".
"It is spooky that I still could heard the footstep." "heard" should change to "hear".
At first,it's the fantastic dream.
Second,the dream doesen't have something special.You can wirte something that the gruesome monster do on you.I think it will make the dream more terrible.
恐怖過程可再多一點點
否則整體的張力不太夠
我覺得...有點虛耶！
"After a while" 後面可以加個"It became very quite,and then I turned back." 之類形容情景的
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